


Anxiety

by splish_splash_im_trash



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Body insecurity, Other, Pls don’t read I just want this somewhere besides my messages that I unsend at 1:30 in the morning, Social Anxiety, complicated feelings, it’s just the ramblings of a madman, the whole thing is just me putting my feelings right now into 2nd person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26099809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splish_splash_im_trash/pseuds/splish_splash_im_trash
Summary: Honestly just read the tags and they’ll tell you what you need to know, I just don’t want these thoughts to be sent to my friend at 1:30 and immediately unsent because I feel like too much of a burden.
Kudos: 1





	Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> This is just my experience with anxiety so it’s not accurate for everyone.

Bumpy grey

and coffee grounds 

and 75% dark chocolate

and lead down your throat into your stomach seeping into the pores of your very being

you just want to sleep 

but your eyelids are held open by clothespins 

and tears want to come 

but all the water in your body is focused on making you have an uncomfortable cold sweat all over your body 

and you start to think that nothing can be worse than what you are feeling right now

but then you remember what is coming up what horrible event is coming 

and-oh no look the bitterness in your mouth never went away 

and the lead is really much thicker than you first thought 

and now it’s heavier too isn’t that fun 

but no it’s not your mind says it’s not fun 

but your body doesn’t listen it never does it tells you that hey what if I just-

and then it gives you a new layer of sweat 

but why can your body give more sweat 

but it can’t give any water for tears 

and your body says that the sweat is important 

and tears are not 

it doesn’t even matter 

stop just stop 

your body says 

tears are just for people seeking attention 

and you tell your body that it is right of course it’s right it always is 

and then you realize that this isn’t as bad as you first thought sure you feel like you are falling and nothing is there to catch you just 

falling 

falling 

falling 

but it could be worse 

you could have not eaten at all today 

wait you didn’t eat 

when was the last time you ate 

does it really matter you are fat either way 

and yes that’s right 

but I need water 

and your mind agrees 

how else will you keep an uncomfortable cold sweat 

so you drink your water 

and you ignore the fact that this feels normal 

you ignore the little niggiling voice that says this should not be normal because of course it should be everyone feels this 

and you should stop complaining because you are strong you can’t stand out you are fine 

and continue to ignore the voice that says that you’re not fine 

because if that were true then you don’t think you would still be standing 

but you are standing 

you are fine 

you are strong

you are okay 

you can keep going through your routine 

and keep doing your normal 

and when you feel like you’re drowning 

you just remind yourself that people can only drown in water 

and you’re breathing in air 

stop overreacting 

you’re fine 

but what if you’re not 

no you will not go down that rabbit hole 

you are fine 

and you remember that 

today it’s technically today you haven’t slept 

and it’s now one fifteen so this important event is happening today 

don’t stress we will be fine 

but it’s a huge event we will not be okay and your body agrees because the coffee grounds and 75% dark chocolate bitterness is back and the only color you can see is that ugly   
bumpy grey 

but it’s fine you’re used to it you can do this just go. 

And so you went.


End file.
